Life as a vampire is tough - there aren't a lot of career options, because even though discrimination is illegal, once you check that "optional" vampire box on your job application, you've pretty much guaranteed you won't get hired. You've pretty much got two options: traditional vampire, or vampire hunter. Yes, you can work the graveyard shift at the porno store or as a line cook at Waffle House, but do you really want to be doing that in five years?

It's a hard life, so take it easy with this massive (16" x 20"!), super soft t-shirt.